Wednesday morning:
I had not slept for 3 nights due to anxiety, nerves, and running various scenarios and outcomes through my restless mind.
Of course, I had a Donald Trump victory scenario, but I never imagined the sweeping results and the accompanying victories up and down the ballot for the Republican Party.
I chose, apparently unwisely, to focus on the “What Ifs” of a Kamala Harris victory more and felt if I stayed positive, I could manifest the reality.
Tuesday, as I tossed and turned in a strange hotel bed, I saw my dreams slowly fading away.
I had presented a speech and a book signing on the afternoon of election day at the SHRM INCLUSION conference in Denver, Colorado. That felt wonderful and it was amazing to connect with new and passionate people committed to Belonging and Inclusion in the workplace. I also attended a group watch party, until I could not take the anxiety and retreated to my room.
As my 4AM alarm sounded, I rose to face the reality of the results and the situation.
My emotions included Sadness, Frustration, Anger, Fear, Confusion and Curiosity. I also felt very alone and removed from the safety of my family and community. I did not like the feelings.
I am en route to a speaking opportunity in Jacksonville, Florida for a wonderful group called JASMYN, whose mission is to support the empowerment of LGBTQIA+ teens and young adults through leadership, advocacy, resources, and a safe and affirming community. I am so honored to be selected for this opportunity, but today just feels so heavy. I am a proud Midwesterner, however, and can hear my Dad in my head saying “ Pull yourself up, dust yourself off, and do what you are meant to do”
How am I processing all of this?? By focusing on the facts, completing my gratitude journal, and connecting with friends and family.
First, the facts.
Democracy is a privilege, not a right. Democracy is Hard. Democracy means you do not always get “your way”.
America is a beautiful nation and work in progress filled with diverse, vibrant, and sometimes flawed people.
51% of my fellow citizens have spoken, and we all need to listen and respect the process.
49% of my fellow citizens agreed with how I voted, and I find strength in that fellowship.
That is over 68 Million people who care about the same issues I do.
But I am still enraged by the history of misogyny, racism, and transphobia that are still so prevalent in our world.
The demonization of our Trans family and the insane amount of negative ads worked.
We need to combat that narrative with fact-based and emotional stories.
As an out Gay man, I have been a minority for over 30 years, and no election result would have changed that fact.
I am not, however, a victim. I am also not going to be a “silent” minority.
I am going to experience this range of emotions, including some depressive moments, but then I am going to move forward.
For the next four years, I intend to double my efforts in writing, speaking, coaching, and advocating for our community. I need to cleanse and refocus my energy and creativity.
Out of tension and darkness can come renewal and new insights.
Like a Lotus blossom blooming in the mud, I need to find my strength and inner drive to sustain me in this environment.
Second, moving through life with grace and gratitude.
Grateful for my friends, especially those people who immediately began reaching out as the results rolled in throughout the evening.
Grateful for my family, natural and chosen, who sustain me and love and accept me unconditionally.
Grateful for my health, my brain, and my willpower.
Grateful for my desire to do more to improve my community and the world.
Grateful for the platform I have due to my book and the numerous people I have connected with since its debut.
Grateful for my life partner, who wants to marry me, and love me through all of the ups and downs.
So now what??
I have spent the last 16 months talking across the country about the power of personal authenticity and the importance of authentic leadership in building high performing teams and cultures.
I need to continue and do even more.
More writing, more speaking, more mentoring, more coaching, and more advocacy.
I wrote in my book that by living my life openly and proudly, I was essentially an activist now.
It is more true today, than ever.